My preparations have been completed and now it is time for me to begin to put my plan into action.
I reminisce as I watch her walk down the street, oblivious to all the men adoring her. It is heartening to see that she will not let other men near her, so when she is mine, I will not have to worry about her straying and it is a comforting thought that she will not befriend every man that approaches her.
But it is his fault she is even alone now and I cannot believe that HE treats her this way. He is so cold, callous and does not afford her the love and attention I would give her. He is too wrapped up in his own issues to notice that he is wasting precious time he could spend with her. When I am her lover, these things will change and she will be the most cherished woman in the world.
Since I saw her for the first time, I have known that I would love her forever. She is perfection and I’ve never seen such beauty in my life....a vision, an angel. I knew that no man other than myself would ever be able to treat her with the reverence she deserves in life and I have made it my mission to make her happy or die trying.
It is strange to want her so badly but to have to follow her at a distance. I want nothing more than to walk up to her and begin the process of making her mine. But it will take time for me to win her heart. First, I will need to continue to observe her and her current paramour. I will need to find out their weaknesses and strengths as a couple and then observe each of them separately. Then, I will find a way to become close to her, to ingratiate myself into her life and I will use the weaknesses I find in their relationship to drive a wedge between them. It will not take much, a small chip off the foundation can become a chasm very quickly and if it doesn’t happen right away, I have a lifetime to wait for her.
It will be difficult because I know they love each other...that fact is indisputable but there is a thin line between love and hate. This will become my mantra as I find the flaws that I have already seen and exploit them.
As I allow the woman I love walk to her home, I realize that he is not worthy of her and I will show that to her eventually. Every day I will be a step closer to her and every night I will watch through their window and see what faults I can use to separate them. But I did not realize how hard it would be to see them intimate with one another. The constant sex they have where he touches her in places I should only be allowed to caress is annoying. But it is the fact that he has brainwashed her into believing they are in love when she could do so much better that I find most infuriating.
While I walk back to my current residence, I reflect on how I have seen numerous men approach her and watched how she treats them with indifference. I have made observations and started a journal which will allow me to learn her tendencies, her habits. I will become her perfect man because I will work so hard to become her ideal lover. When my plan comes to fruition, she will terminate her current relationship and during her mourning, I will use what I have learned to make her mine.
Already, I have four albums full of pictures of her and I have only been truly following her for a week. I have tried to avoid taking photos of her with him but that is nearly impossible since they never seem to be apart when I have the time to see her. But even with him there, I do enjoy staring for hours on end at her lovely image smiling at me, speaking to me, begging me to one day save her from him. Still, when I enter my flat, I know that I will remedy this soon.
I pick up my first memento I have come into possession that reminds me of the woman I love. A few weeks ago, the day had grown warm and she was sitting, enjoying tea by herself. I almost approached her then, my impatience nearly overcoming me but I showed enough restraint to stop myself and I was rewarded when she departed. The woman I love left me her sweater and now it is the first piece of my collection holding a cherished place on the small shrine I have built in her honor.
My altar looks so pathetic now. There are several pictures, the sweater, and a napkin with her full lips imprinted upon it. I took this particular souvenir from a bin after she had used it to dab off her lip gloss...the faint smell of cinnamon still on the tissue. But I shake my head, knowing my shrine is just a wretched pittance now and she deserves so much more, but sadly, I have not had enough time to gather what I need to make sure I am worshipping her properly.
But now is not the time for me to worry about the false idols I pray to in her stead. She will be visible in her home in a few hours and I want to be in the proper place to make sure she doesn’t notice me…yet. Smiling, I reflect that it is an arduous task, this falling in love…